Pain as Meditation

I continue to feel moments of deep pain for my loss of Jason. I expected to feel less of it over time, and I’m not exactly finding that to be the case. I do feel it less and less frequently, but it is still intense. And I also experience moments of intense aliveness, grateful for what I have received from Jason. It used to be amazing to me after Jason died how I could feel deep sadness and the next moment be happy. It no longer is amazing to...

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Holding On, Letting Go

I’ve returned home from a magnificent 5-week exploration of spirit, beauty, and possibilities. And yet this is not my only home and it is temporary, like all that we perceive to be physical reality. Energetically it is a home of memories, love, and the many creations I have made in the past 5 years. I create a home everywhere I am. Returning to Jason’s studio, I was amazed at how light I felt and how I didn’t feel like crying. That was one...

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Sustainability

Sustainability. We have been experiencing wonderful models and teachers of this in Castillo, Costa Rica. The wise mountain hermit Tomas and the young earth-yogi Frederico live this day to day and inspire others to see that it can be done and it is being done. And we are doing it. To be one with the earth, one spirit. To take care of our environment. To sustain ourselves with the food of the gods farmed by us gods. To live together in loving...

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Winds and Lava 2/7/10

This is a magical place in which to be with the 6 month anniversary of Jason’s passing. The winds are healing and blow away doubts and fears. The volcano erupts and releases glowing boulders of ancient patterns. The lake soothes and cools. This is a world of possibilities, like any other world except with lush vegetation, mystical jungle, and artistic birds. Things grow fast here; the locals use machetes to keep it down. Or you can sit and...

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Watching the World

I’m watching the world go by and yet it is so still. What is still? Who is still? Who watches? The pelican necklace soars overhead. A Tico boy on bicycle screams through the beach at low tide. The waves lick the shore and get closer, then farther, then closer, as the sun moves in its journey through the sky until it plunges into the ocean. The fisherman’s boat trolls by, in the pace of this sleepy country. The island beach comes and goes,...

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