A Year to Live
Before Jason died, my beloved Kule and I were reading a book together by Stephen Levine called “A Year to Live” about living your life as it were your last year. We were inspired to follow the book, and after Jason died we went all out. Certainly there was a strong message that life can be very short, and what are we waiting for? I had been planning to move (or at least explore) outside New England when Jason graduated, from the time we moved to Ipswich five years ago. I had mentally planned out getting rid of my furniture and whittling down my things to do the move. It’s finally happened in this past year, and it feels so-o-o-o good. Jason’s pretty excited about it, too!
Over the past year I’ve written other blog entries about death and rebirth. I died when Jason died. Now I have the opportunity to re-live the way I choose to. Not that I wasn’t living how I wanted to live in most respects. I am so grateful to have the supportive and loving friends and family that I do. The photo above beams it all.
I’m feeling more freedom amidst the chaos of moving and preparing my business and myself for a new lifestyle, being on the road exploring with my favorite travel companion. Jason will be with us, too, as we drive through cool vistas, as I imagine stopping every 5 minutes for him to take a shot. Actually, I just decided I will ritually stop once in a while to give him that chance. We always had fun travelling together, and that isn’t going to change.
We are starting a journey, and that isn’t new, either. We are always starting a journey, every morning we wake up, in every moment and every breath. During our wonderful sendoff party with friends we did a ritual where each of us shared the title of the new chapter in each of our lives. We are all launching journeys together.
I’ve studied a bit of Feng Shui and Vastu (the Hindu version) and have felt the improvement of energy when clutter is cleaned up. I’m noticing now how light I feel. I’ve just released so much old energy from the past, and I’m not weighted down to move more freely. Getting the leased signed with our new tenants greased the skids. Having our sendoff celebrations (at our home and at the beach kirtan last night) dissolved the skids – we are ready to roll!
There has been so much to get in order before we take off, I won’t bore you with the details. All I know is at every step I wondered why I didn’t do this years ago. I’ve even digitized my photographs to lighten our load and to post and email them to Jason’s friends and family, a little at a time, little surprises for his friends in coming months. I finally backed up my recording studio, to encourage me to record my own compositions; ya think Jason has anything to do with that, huh?!
In the book “A Year to Live” Stephen also talks a lot about not only getting your house and business in order (for yourself and not to burden your successors with how to sort through it all), but also your emotional energy. What unfinished business do I have with others? I was so fortunate to not have any unresolved items with Jason, although he was certainly available after he passed to do that in spirit. I’m not sure if I uncovered all of the unfinishedness yet, but I certainly have found myself in a gratitude-plus state of acknowledging the preciousness of every person in my life, and all the gifts they bring, and perhaps gifts they could bring out even more.
Jason’s message “Follow Your Passion” goes a long way!
Bon Voyage, dear ones!
Michelle and Jason