Balance, 11/6/09


I was feeling overwhelmed and out of balance. The universe was there to assist me, and I sprained my ankle.

Time to slow down, put my feet up (literally), and really learn to trust in the balance. I literally lost my balance when my ankle gave out going down my front step 2 days ago. It’s a freaking living metaphor! The day before, I had worked on an affirmation to manifest this balance of work (that gotta start making money feeling of pressure) and grieving and taking care of myself, and my wish came true.

My first reaction after hearing the snap of my ankle and feeling my body slam on the concrete, was the expected one – oh shit, why did this have to happen on top of everything else I’ve had to go through lately? I told those voices in my head to go away; I wasn’t buying into this being difficult. There had to be a reason this happened, and I figured it out pretty quickly, once I dragged myself into the house and managed to get ice on my ankle, waiting for a neighbor to bring me ibuprofen.

Another emotional roller coaster. I had to hush up some other voices that were complaining I had to ask for help again, hating to burden Kule and others. Last night I was tired and a bit down, but this morning I woke up cheerful, grateful that I was never in any significant pain, the swelling is down, and I can put weight on it with the help of Dianna’s crutches. I am mobile again, yay!

The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a meeting with Jason on the other side, where he did some pretty cool healing on my ankle, and then I realized that he was doing it all along. I felt him with me the moment I fell, feeling comfort at the time that I wasn’t truly alone. He gave me strength and hope. I got to hang with him again during a session with medium Nancy Smeltzer this morning; I felt the balance move in along with the rapid healing of my ankle.

The reminder that Jason is always there for me was enough. I’m not expecting any more sprained ankles for a while – I get the message!

The funny thing is – I’ve been more relaxed and productive with my client work since I sprained my ankle than I have in the 3 months since Jason passed. Interesting, huh?