The 17 Key Messages from the Book “Messages from Jason”

The 17 Key Messages from the Book “Messages from Jason”

Appendix 1 – The 17 Key Messages from Jason 1. Be Fearless: There is nothing to be afraid of. Don’t be afraid of your own shadow, your beliefs that dictate what you experience. If we accept death, we embrace life. We are always changing and we take on and drop identities all the time. If we stay attached to having things stay the same or remaining a certain person, we suffer. Death often happens to serve a higher purpose that might not be...

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Messages From Jason

Messages From Jason

The e-book is now available at Kindle and Amazon! It was published November 2012; you can find it on line under Vyola Myst and “Messages from Jason, a Mother’s Healing Journey of Grief and Spirit”. Blessings to all who read it and pass on the messages to those who will benefit from them. Writings by Vyola Myst inspire spiritual awakening. Michelle Herrera Foster, Ph.D. has been a creative writer since childhood, and her passion...

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The New Formless Era

The Mayan calendar ends 10/28/11. Then what? The end of an era based on form (structure, predictability, systems, focus on the physical) has brought on confusion and fear, with predictions of major catastrophes. I do believe it is the end of life as we know it. I also believe it is the beginning of a much better life for all, if we are ready to embrace the change. Going beyond form is hard to imagine, and therefore many of us don’t want to....

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Healing Team

It’s time to do our work as a healing team. I was born a healer and I gave birth to a healer. My son Jason and I are connected beyond the womb connection, beyond this earth plane. When he passed from this earth at the age of 17 in 2009, he gave me powerful messages that I shared in my writings on this blog. We are doing our work together now. He is connecting me with his wisdom and that of many guides he gets to hang out with on the...

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Message 40 – Give to Others – 1/11

“Give to Others as You Gave to Me” The bus climbed up the switchbacks of the Central Valley in Costa Rica, wrapped in a slight chill from the cloudy mist. I was listening to Jason’s favorite music when we rounded the bend and I fell into awe. It was so beautiful. I immediately knew something was going to happen here. I looked at Kule and he looked back with wide eyes and with the same knowing. As I gazed over the lush green valley and...

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BOOK SYNOPSIS – Messages from Jason

It was hard, and it happened later than I had planned, but the book synopsis is written and is being submitted to spiritual book publishers. Thank you to Jason, to all of you who have supported me in this journey, and to all of you who benefit from these messages. It is a gift to me to know that Jason has been a gift to you. Messages from Jason – A Mother’s Spiritual Grieving Journey There are so many times when I feel like...

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Merging with Jason

I am in California, where Jason thought he might go to college. We just visited my brother Al’s family’s near Lake Tahoe that is a museum of Jason’s art, hung in every room. Jason is with me everywhere I go, and recently I had some profound experiences that remind me that we are not separate. I have always wanted to go to Mt. Shasta to feel its vortex energy. A week ago, sitting in meditation at the headwaters of Panther Meadows, a place...

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Earth Mother, 10/5/10

On this beautiful lush land in Lost Valley, Oregon I was thinking of Jason and being with grief I hadn’t felt in a while. Being here gave me the opportunity to slow down from travel and social activities. As soon as I started connecting fully with Jason’s spirit on this land, I felt another presence, an omnipresence that was rich and beautiful. I continued walking on the Cedar trail of this permaculture education center outside Eugene...

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Travelling with Jason

We’ve been on the road over five weeks, and it feels like I’m past due to get home, although I am on a roll and excited about continuing on. I’ve been used to travelling a few weeks and headed back home, to Jason. This journey I’m not headed back, and Jason is travelling with me. Jason is everywhere. He’s taking photographs of Badlands, mystical trees, and weird mushrooms. He’s hanging with the cool young people. He’s checking out...

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Message 39 – Forever

“I’ll hold you in my heart forever.” I got the message from Jason in a laminated photo card from 2003 that I found as I went through the last box I was whittling down, packing to leave the next day on our cross-country journey, vacating the house in time for the new tenants. It was in a box of momentos from a chaotic bureau drawer that had not been searched since before we moved to Ipswich. It’s not something I would normally keep, a...

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A Year to Live

It’s been a year since Jason passed to the other side, and I have learned so much about how to live. Before Jason died, my beloved Kule and I were reading a book together by Stephen Levine called “A Year to Live” about living your life as it were your last year. We were inspired to follow the book, and after Jason died we went all out. Certainly there was a strong message that life can be very short, and what are we waiting for? I had...

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Hanging Out

When Jason was ill his junior year with mono, I asked him what cheered him up the most, in addition to doing his art and music. He said he liked hanging out with his friends, and he was really missing that. When I asked him what they did, he said they just hung out , and he was annoyed by any other questions. I thought I understood the message at the time, but I really get it now. Jason was a master at hanging out. He was present, in the...

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Message 38 – Be the Observer

Today is one year since Jason’s passing. In his usual style, he gave me a creative anniversary gift. I was in the water in Gloucester in Jason’s Cove, swimming in his ashes as I had done about a year ago. I had received a strong message from him a few months ago to release the rest of his ashes, to release attachment to his form. I decided to cheat and keep a small amount in one of his treasure boxes, the one with the coyote in the wild...

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Back to Nature

Written during our visits to Earthaven in Asheville, NC and Anahata in Floyd, VAI’m getting back to nature. Back to my nature.(See dolphin picture at http://www.geocities.com/laurelsong2/moreart.html – We stayed with Laurel Song of Anahata; her home was alive with the colors of her art and furnishings.) Living more primitively than I’m used to has brought up some challenges during the launch of our intentional community exploration....

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Home

I’m missing home and I’m wondering what that means. I carry my home in my heart, I know that. I’ll be renting out my physical home to give me the freedom for my journey – am I afraid to grieve another loss? Or am I just afraid of change? No difference…. My work now is to release expectations and be open to what will feed me in rich unexpected ways…. Being away from home is assisting this process, as hard as it feels right now. Home...

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Reunion

I’ve reunited. With friends. With Source. It’s been a time of major change in my life and I’ve felt the disconnection from Source bigger than I’m used to in recent weeks. The good thing is – it’s always right here with me, and I’m bound to bump into it again and it will stick! It’s been great practice in being in the moment; that’s where we find Source. Playing music in spiritual community brings the connection back instantly....

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Trials and Tribulations

This last month of graduation brought forth a plethora of tributes to Jason. I am feeling closure around the school’s honoring of their lost classmate and recognition of Jason’s talents as an artist and musician. I’m the proud mother, supported in my grieving, as I witness others feeling supported in their grieving as well (better late than never). This culture is not comfortable with death, and there are ways that work for every...

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Renaissance Man

Jason received his graduation award Monday night – The Renaissance Award – for outstanding performance in the areas of Drama, Music, and the Visual Arts. It was accompanied by a long heart-felt sacred standing ovation by the room packed with high school students and parents at the Fine Arts award ceremony, honoring the memory of this talented young man and dear classmate. I received an email Monday morning if I could be there at night to...

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Message 27 – Feel the Flow

I felt the flow as Jason’s flower lifted in the wind, settled in a quiet pool of the creek, got pulled into the current, danced in some eddies, and drifted in with the tide. Drifting inward, to my heart and soul. I’m feeling my flow. On my morning walk down to the bridge, I saw a small white 5-petalled flower that reminded me of the days when Jason was very young, when he was obsessed with picking tiny wildflowers and marveling at them...

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Graduation

Graduation is coming up. It used to be very painful thinking about this. Now I get that Jason already graduated. Jason didn’t need to go to college to do what he loved to do; he already did it. The art show at Zumi’s served as a ritual to celebrate this aspect of his life. The ongoing discoveries of his music and poetry brings up emotion not only because he feels so alive in the moment and it reminds me of his absence, but also because it...

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Thank You for Honoring Jason

I feel continuous gratitude. That was my renewed intention last week, that shifted me into a place of seeing and feeling beauty everywhere. I feel the loss of Jason with some occasional tears, and mostly with the eternal gratitude of having had him in my life. I’ve expressed gratitude to so many for all the support I’ve received. This message is a thank you to Jason’s classmates and teachers. Thank you, Jason’s classmates and dear...

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Mother Eternal

Mother’s day has been the hardest holiday since Jason’s passing. Being a mother has been the greatest joy in my life. Being a mother to Jason has brought me some of the greatest challenges, perhaps most of my spiritual growth, and the greatest honor. Knowing what I do now, if someone had asked me if I wanted to take this journey as a mother to Jason, I would still do it, in a heartbeat. The (my) truth is, that Jason is not gone, he will be...

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Gestation

It’s been nine months since Jason’s passing. I carried him for 9 months and I’ve been releasing him for 9 months. It’s so interesting to me that reflecting on this at this time does not bring up intense sadness. I’m feeling inspired. I’m inspired by the memory of Jason. I’m inspired by what we can create in our lives. Life is a continual gestation. I’m preparing for a birthing of new-ness in my life. This time I don’t have to...

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Message 36 – I’m Right Here

Jason lives. He’s right here. He’s always been here. I received that message from him clearly a few times this past week. It has helped me resurface easily from moments of deep pain, missing his physical presence, missing the adorable 17-year old that I used to share a house with and a life with, that used to help me relax, inspire me, and make me laugh. He was right here with me when I was listening to his music the other day, after cutting...

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Rebirth

When Jason died, I died. His funeral was my funeral, a celebration of his life and my life. My grieving has been a rebirth. It’s spring time and there is new life everywhere. The change in season has brought up some renewed grieving for me. April spring break reminds me of the awesome vacations Jason and I would take together to the southwest, getting up early with the excitement of flying in a plane together. He wore his camera like a...

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Letting Go of the Future

I’ve worked hard to let go of the past and be in the present. I overlooked one piece – the future. Jason and I had a 5-year plan in Ipswich:He was going to spread his adult wings and fly to his future. He’s done that, and I believe I’ve accepted his path. I was going to take off to a new destination outside New England. I didn’t know where I’d end up, but I looked forward to having Jason visit me wherever I was. Wow. That hit me...

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Passages

I’m experiencing many passages. Jason passed almost 8 months ago. He passed so much to me for which I am grateful. I’m in turn passing it on to others as I am called to do. I’m getting ready to pass my home to another. Our first interested buyer, a friend of a friend, reminded me of me five years ago, a single mom looking for the best home and arts-oriented school for her teens. Everything was in such an easy flow; I hadn’t even listed...

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Purpose

When Jason was alive I had a strong purpose – to be the best parent I could and to help Jason become a happy independent adult. My work strategy was based on this purpose. I worked for myself, out of our home, making enough money to maintain the lifestyle needed to be in the Ipswich school system so he could thrive as an artist. He did, and the decision was a good one, just 20 minutes from his father Chuck. Jason expressed himself as a true...

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Pain as Meditation

I continue to feel moments of deep pain for my loss of Jason. I expected to feel less of it over time, and I’m not exactly finding that to be the case. I do feel it less and less frequently, but it is still intense. And I also experience moments of intense aliveness, grateful for what I have received from Jason. It used to be amazing to me after Jason died how I could feel deep sadness and the next moment be happy. It no longer is amazing to...

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Holding On, Letting Go

I’ve returned home from a magnificent 5-week exploration of spirit, beauty, and possibilities. And yet this is not my only home and it is temporary, like all that we perceive to be physical reality. Energetically it is a home of memories, love, and the many creations I have made in the past 5 years. I create a home everywhere I am. Returning to Jason’s studio, I was amazed at how light I felt and how I didn’t feel like crying. That was one...

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Sustainability

Sustainability. We have been experiencing wonderful models and teachers of this in Castillo, Costa Rica. The wise mountain hermit Tomas and the young earth-yogi Frederico live this day to day and inspire others to see that it can be done and it is being done. And we are doing it. To be one with the earth, one spirit. To take care of our environment. To sustain ourselves with the food of the gods farmed by us gods. To live together in loving...

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Winds and Lava 2/7/10

This is a magical place in which to be with the 6 month anniversary of Jason’s passing. The winds are healing and blow away doubts and fears. The volcano erupts and releases glowing boulders of ancient patterns. The lake soothes and cools. This is a world of possibilities, like any other world except with lush vegetation, mystical jungle, and artistic birds. Things grow fast here; the locals use machetes to keep it down. Or you can sit and...

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Watching the World

I’m watching the world go by and yet it is so still. What is still? Who is still? Who watches? The pelican necklace soars overhead. A Tico boy on bicycle screams through the beach at low tide. The waves lick the shore and get closer, then farther, then closer, as the sun moves in its journey through the sky until it plunges into the ocean. The fisherman’s boat trolls by, in the pace of this sleepy country. The island beach comes and goes,...

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Ripples and Flow

It is safest to cross where there are ripples. That’s what the locals tell us. Then you know how deep the water is, so the car doesn’t go where it will later regret. Bridges are too costly to maintain in Costa Rica, and they would get washed away in the wet season. Bridges are not sustainable. Flowing with nature is. The Ticos (Cost Ricans) are very connected to nature, their life is about going with the flow. I’m tuning into that energy...

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Travelling without Plans

Travelling without plans. This is a new one for me. It’s a metaphor for life. I’m not used to going on a trip without making reservations in advance. Even if I had time to plan our trip to Costa Rica, part of me wanted to just go and see where we end up. And that’s where we are – wherever we are. Following our intuition, at least most of the time. I didn’t follow my intuition about reserving a rental car in advance – I resisted doing...

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Enlightenment

One of Jason’s first messages after he died was to lighten up. He helped me move toward enlightenment. Enlightenment is not the first thing one might expect after losing a child. Why do bad things happen to people? Are they really bad? Who determines if it is bad? If we believe it is bad, then it will most likely feel that way. If we believe that it is what it is, then we are open to experiencing what comes. What if what comes are spiritual...

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Message 35 – Move In

It feels like time to move on, and the message I got from Jason today is to move in. I’ve grieved hard, I’ve retreated and integrated, and now it’s time to do the work of my life. To move more fully into who I am. When we move homes we clear out the old stuff we don’t need anymore. When we move in to a new home we reorganize and reprioritize, with new presentations and new energy. It feels like that’s happening for me at this time of...

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Grieving Affirmations

I was feeling agitated yesterday that I’ve had to go through all of this, losing my son, losing my only child, losing the opportunity to see him further flourish in life, and dealing with the grief and all the emotions and energy that come with all of it (with a sprained ankle thrown on top of the pile). I was tired, after working so hard to prepare for some major projects and travel; I haven’t been sleeping well, I’ve been missing Jason...

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Message 34 – Be an Avatar

Jason is an Avatar; he knew how to travel to other worlds in life, and he is travelling to this world from the other side. I am an Avatar, and I am travelling to Jason’s world when I connect with him, and other “worlds” of realities I choose to create. Jason believes we can all be Avatars. There is no coincidence that the movie Avatar came out after Jason’s passing and as I am preparing to take an advanced Avatar course. The Avatar...

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Soul Contract

Jason and I made a soul contract before we both came in to this world. In Soul Story I wrote about Jason’s contract with himself, but I wasn’t focusing about my own at the time. I’ve written about this in several writings – about how I’ve learned so much from Jason in life and in his passing. How I appreciate so much having had him in my life, even if it were just to be 17 years. I’ve written about our long soul history together, our...

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Losing a Child

Losing a child is unimaginable. I still can’t imagine it. I’m just living it. Losing a child devastates parents. It’s not right; children shouldn’t die before their parents. Children should have a chance to grow up and live a full life. So many shoulds….I’ve worked hard to process them to lessen the pain of loss, but they still come up in waves of grief, and I ride them and continue to process. Losing a child is an experience than...

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Humility and Power

Jason is a very powerful being, but I believe he was too humble when he was alive.And I’m learning that all of us humans are often too humble.Why don’t we celebrate our gifts more with others? Yesterday I found about 20 songs on his ipod that I hadn’t heard before; a few were amazing. Why didn’t he show us these songs? He’s written about 60, but I processed some upset about not knowing about these 20 – guilt that I should have...

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Soul Story

Once upon a time a wise soul was looking for a family to join on earth. He scouted the universe and found a married couple that didn’t know if they wanted or didn’t want children, and they were trusting in the universe to give them what they need for their evolution and their paths as spiritual teachers and healers. They seemed just right. This wise soul had a mission on earth, and it wasn’t going to be for a very long time, so he wanted...

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Message 33 – Retreat and Relax

Jason gave me a clear message today – it’s time to retreat and relax. Grieving takes a lot of energy – it’s important work, but it doesn’t have to be consuming. I never had that belief, but I have been tired. I also get the sense that most of the hard work is done, and I feel good about where I am. Writing has been a great support for me, and loving witness. I have abundant support to turn to for help when I need it; just knowing that...

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Losses and Gifts

We experience so many losses in our life, and so many gifts. It’s Christmas time, and I had been planning to get the heck out of town to avoid the pain of not having Jason here, opening gifts together. This morning I pulled up the courage to pull out his Christmas stocking and I let the tears flow. I had embroidered “JASON” on the stocking when he was a baby. Opening the stocking Christmas morning was one of two holiday rituals Jason was...

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Grieving with Strangers

I do my best grieving alone, and I’m learning how sweet it can be to grieve in front of strangers. Compassion is everywhere. I attended a weekend workshop for the first time since Jason died (for the first time in a year, actually – I don’t attend workshops too often these days, but it felt right; I can receive healing). I wasn’t ready before this to leave my cocoon (being alone or with close friends or family) for more than a partial...

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Message 32 – Be a Child

Be a child – that was Jason’s message to me today, delivered by the three wise boulders of Labor-In-Vain, after I shared Jason’s energy with them. Cool. That’s the ultimate reflection – to be the mirror! (I just wrote about Mirror Reflections). The message resonated with me deeply. Of course – this is yet another reason to miss Jason, another reason to grieve. When he was around I could be the child through him. When he left the...

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Mirror Reflections – Jason’s CD, Michelle’s CD

Jason’s spirit is a mirror reflecting back what we have given each other, and how we inspired each other.It’s often overwhelming, and it brings up a lot of emotions and some fear of change.A big wave overtook me last night, and I was missing him so much it hurt.This morning I’m in calmer waters and reflecting: I’ve been writing about Jason being an indigo child; I’m an indigo adult, embracing the “new culture”of oneness...

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The Indigo Child – Part 2 – Trust

“Jason, The Joy of My Life”Journal dedicated to Jason– February, 2001 (Jason was 9 yrs old, last entry below at 14 yrs old) Jason knows who he is and what he wants and doesn’t want. He has access to deep wisdom and has the purity of wildflowers. All of the “challenges” he presented to us as a baby and small child are easily explained by all this – he is an Indigo child. I am blessed to have him in my life, as my son, my friend, my...

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The Indigo Child – Jason’s 16 Things

Jason was an indigo child. I prefer not to use labels to categorize people, but “indigo child” is a term that has meant something to me, raising Jason as a child. Indigo children question all the old belief systems, many of which have been hurting our planet and our culture. He always asked “why” about the real important stuff, and hearing his questioning taught me how we buy into so many beliefs we don’t even realize we have. He...

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Communication with the Other Side – Part 2, with Jason’s poetry

Connecting with the divine is second nature to me. Connecting with an individual spirit like Jason seems new, but on reflection it isn’t. I connect with the spirit of each person on a regular basis, when I am being present, in the moment. I’ve also connected with spirits of loved ones right after they dropped their bodies, and I forgot about that when I was writing Part 1 of this message. The first time I lost a dear person in my life was...

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Communicating with the Other Side

How do we communicate with the “other side”? I’m guessing the same ways we communicate and connect non-verbally with those alive, and more. I felt Jason’s presence at the Thanksgiving table when I joked about how our dear vegetarian Jason could join us for the first time in this wonderful meal without getting repulsed by the smell of meat. Humor was always a way we connected. I could sense his joy with everyone’s laughter and...

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Celebration of Life

I’ve been celebrating Thanksgiving since Jason died, and it will always be Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for having had him in my life and I celebrate his life daily. He lives in his art that decorates our walls and his memorial website (www.plutonicfluf.com) , the music and silly recordings that fill my iphone and the CDs we are making, the funny home videos, the discovered poetry I continue to type up to be shared, the touching and...

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Message 31 – Don’t Worry Be Happy

Don’t Worry Be Happy Even though Jason might not have used that exact phrase, that was his mantra. He is telling me this quite loudly this morning. It’s also an old favorite song from an amazing musician Bobby McFerrin. I couldn’t remember his name, and I got it when I turned on Music Choice on my TV this morning – the first song was one by Bobby McFerrin. Another gift from spirit, aka Jason! Jason would tell me often not to worry. He...

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California Connections

California dreaming…..and triggers…. Being in San Diego this past week for a conference brought up a lot for me, and it felt like a dream. Last time I was in California was with Jason, and I was missing him so much. I was reminded of how much he liked California and saw himself going to college there. It reminded me of my dream to move somewhere warm and adventurous with Kule, like California, when Jason went to college next year. Maybe we...

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Jason’s Universal Messages

Jason’s messages are universal, and I’m summarizing them for the “mainstream”; you don’t have to believe in life after death or psychic phenomena to benefit from them. I’ve distilled this down to 17, Jason’s earth age. I’m curious to get any comments on this, and if there is anything else you got from Jason’s 30 messages. They’ve helped me so much on my grieving journey. Many are reminders of what I’ve embraced, but how...

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Tsunami, 11/10/09

When Jason left his body it created a powerful energy wave, a tsunami. In its wake there has been chaos, cleansing, renewal, and miracles. A tsunami has destructive energy that reminds me of the goddess Kali. She destroys that which no longer serves us – the ego, old patterns, fears, and limitations to our evolution. She holds us in divine love through the chaos, giving us courage to ride the storm. I believe that when someone dies, enormous...

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Messages from Sound, 11/9/09

Jason always communicated with sound in interesting ways, since he was a baby. Did he choose me as a parent because his soul knew I am also connected with sound, and would co-found a sound healing organization (www.soundhealingnetwork.org, originally New England Sound Healing Research Institute, NESHRI)? Or did he influence my path? I’m guessing both. I am reflecting upon and exploring my connection with Jason through sound and music. I am...

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Balance, 11/6/09

I was feeling overwhelmed and out of balance. The universe was there to assist me, and I sprained my ankle. Time to slow down, put my feet up (literally), and really learn to trust in the balance. I literally lost my balance when my ankle gave out going down my front step 2 days ago. It’s a freaking living metaphor! The day before, I had worked on an affirmation to manifest this balance of work (that gotta start making money feeling of...

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The Healer, 11/4/09

Jason means healer in Greek – or at least that what the baby name book said (a couple of Greek people challenged that definition, but I stick with it.) I loved the name Jason when I chose it, and I loved it even more when I found out what it meant. Jason didn’t relate to being a healer; his parents were healers, so why would he choose that word to describe himself?! He definitely believed in the healing he received by his parents and many...

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Wave Crash, 11/3/09

Grief is as powerful and unpredictable as the ocean, and I find myself riding the waves and sometimes getting pulled under. Last night I attended a bereaved parents group (The Compassionate Friends) after a mixed day. It started out rough, crying uncontrollably about something I didn’t think was going to “get” me. I used to have a family. After Chuck and I got divorced I grieved the loss of the family unit; we had had a late miscarriage...

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Connections, 10/30/09

I am grateful for my connections with Jason and how much I am learning about how we connect. Jason I love watching movies together, good ones and bad ones (the latter gave us some good laughs). We stayed up late two nights ago watching a movie, hanging together like old times. We made good use of the Comcast Digital On-Demand we got when we moved to Ipswich. Since Jason passed, Kule and I haven’t been using it and we discovered we could save...

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Past Lives, 10/28/09

This isn’t the first time Jason died before me in life. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t surprised to get the news at the hospital, when I arrived after driving for almost one hour with no information other than Jason was in a bad accident. The hospital wouldn’t give us information; we found out later that’s because it was police jurisdiction – Jason had died at the scene and his body wasn’t at the hospital. I spent the entire drive...

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Acceptance, 10/21/09

I’ve been on this unanticipated incredible journey of accepting Jason’s passing. When I accept, I feel peace.When I resist, I suffer.The choice has been easy to make amidst the pain of loss, and yet my mind wants to figure out how I can possibly accept. These are some key beliefs that have helped me tremendously:1) Each soul has its time on earth, for many reasons clear and never to be known. It was Jason’s time, his soul had chosen this....

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Fulfillment, 10/13/09

I’ve been hit by a huge wave that has thrown me underwater, churning in the surf, not knowing up from down. There’s a trust that I will reach the surface. There’s a strange feeling of peace being in this state of unknown, held by the waters of the earth. I cried and cried the last two days. Jason’s art show tribute brought it up again, wishing he could have been there to receive the wows and other comments about his photography and...

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Premonitions, 10/11/09

I believe at some unconscious level Jason knew his time on this earth was short. He wrote cryptic poems in the last few years of his life that appear to indicate this, most in the last couple of months. Jason always had a strong connection with the world of spirit and probably lived more there than in his body. His photography and music reflect this connection. He was already there when he dropped his body. I had premonitions this past year,...

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Lives and Identities, 10/8/09

Many of us believe in past lives and reincarnation. What about current lives? Years ago I was told I was a “walk-in” and that another soul took over at a big transition in my life. No way to prove any of it, of course. But why not? Things are always changing, and therefore death is always happening at many levels, creating space for new life. I feel I’m in a transition now, a new life starting. I believe it is a healthy way to be in the...

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Gratitude, 10/7/09

I am reminded of the power of gratitude. Often when I cry about Jason I feel the immense gratitude of having had him in my life, of continuing to feel his blessings. This feeling brings me joy and peace and carries me to a place of feeling abundance. I was reminded of how grateful I am for being in this place, and not in a place of devastation and despair as so many parents have experienced in the loss of a child, for years afterward. I attended...

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Confirmations, 9/12/09

This has been one of the hardest weeks, surrendering to another level of deep grief. Every time I get really low and can’t seem to get out of it, and I remember to ask for help, I get more and more confirmations that I am supported. The wave of grief turns into a wave of peace and love. 9/9/09 (3 days ago) was a day symbolizing death and rebirth. The ocean was intense – waves crashing, washing up dead birds and plenty of food for the...

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Imagination, 9/9/09

How often have we been told that imagination is the opposite of reality? Let’s try this one on:Imagination creates reality. Gazing into the clouds today, I searched for angels and images of Jason’s energy and found them. What an imagination! And it felt good, too. Our beliefs create our reality; I’ve been studying this for some time, and last year with advanced courses with Avatar. We choose our beliefs, and therefore we choose the reality...

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Messages from Nature, 9/9/09

Nature has important messages for us and we can adjust our filters to get them. Messages come in so many ways, as Jason reminds me. Messages from Rocks I was struck by this in recent walks on Cranes beach on the rocky side on the way to the Ipswich River outlet across from Plum Island, a magical space that Jason liked hanging out in. The rocks and boulders have mystical colorings, patterns, engravings, and shapes that seem to want to tell us...

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The Beauty of Crying, 9/6/09

Dear friends,Sending emails to you and occasional calls (I haven’t found the time/energy for a lot of calls, but I would like to catch up with each of you soon) has been very supportive, knowing you are there in loving witness, receiving your healing energy. I am trusting in the divine flow. I am crying a lot, especially with little reminders about how special Jason was to me, from every corner of my home and memory. I’m really getting how...

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Missing Jason, 9/1/09

It’s been a hard couple of days. I miss Jason. I’ve accepted his soul mission, the fact that he is at peace, and that I am so blessed, grateful, and inspired to have him in my life, however he is with me, now in spirit. But I miss him on this earth plane, so much. I’ve been apart for Jason for 3 weeks and now it is past that mark, and I’m feeling his absence intensely. I got a reality check when I went into town to pick up a few photos...

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Message 30 – Being, 10/1/09

“The ultimate joy is in being.” I visited the message rocks on the beach yesterday to do some grieving. I was looking for a clear message, but I was open to not receiving anything in particular, just being with the mystical rocks. I found myself stroking the rocks with my bare feet, feeling the weathered patterns and mystical textures, gazing at the intricate patterns of nature’s art. I got in touch with Jason’s lightness and childlike...

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Message 28 – We Are One, 9/27/09

“I am not separate from you. We are one.” I was seeking a way to discreate despair and I rediscovered one-ness. I don’t think I ever experienced despair before Jason died. I understand now how so many people who have lost dear ones, especially children, have felt their lives were ruined. So many immediately assumed that I would be devastated. I am so eternally grateful that these moments of despair are short-lived, existing long enough to...

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Message 29 – Bridging the Worlds, 9/29/09

“We are the bridges between the worlds of spirit and physical reality; there is no separation.” Jason was a natural bridge. He was always playing in the world of spirit, very comfortable and intrigued with the unknown. I used to describe his photography and music as ways Jason would take the mundane and describable and transform them into magical and indescribable. He also did this in his poetry (samples below). Looking back through my own...

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Message 27 – The Formless, 9/23/09

“It’s not about the form; it’s about the formless.” I asked Jason to let the water wash away the grief and attachment to stuff that is prolonging suffering unnecessarily. The ocean water was warm enough today to stay in for a while. I looked up and saw a giant dove cloud and felt a message coming. Jason always knew how to get me to be completely in the moment, experiencing the micro-beauty of everything. I was playing with the water,...

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Message 25 – Playing Heals, 9/15/09

“When we play, we connect with our infinite nature; we are in the moment with joy.” Jason gave me a new message Saturday night when I was at one of my lowest times. I was asking to trust that I will understand the purpose of all of this.I immediately sensed him telling me about porpoise, and I knew it was him because Jason loved playing with words. A porpoise loves to play; there is also the submerge and emerge. (I am inspired to do more...

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Message 26 – Planting Seeds, 9/18/09

“I am planting the seeds for spiritual growth in the future, in a way that the human nervous system can handle.” I had a profound connection with Jason two days ago during a flower essence journey with Bobbie Courtney. I want to share this with you now and it’s hard to get into the part of my brain that can write about it, so I may add more later. I would love to hear your reactions and insights. At the start of the session, I downloaded...

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Message 24 – Listen To Your Messages, 8/30/09

“Listen to your own messages.” Jason’s favorite number was 24, according to a school English paper he wrote 4 years ago. It feels like this is the last message – message 24 – and it’s from me. The messages I have been receiving have been very clear, coming from a high place, and overwhelming at times. However, they are not new messages; we receive these all the time and they are everywhere. The way I have been receiving them...

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Message 22- Surrender, 8/27/09

“Surrender to the healing” 5:05 AM5 = Magic, tuning into our spirit0 = Infinite being I awoke and heard “There’s Nothing Left.” Writing it now it means to me that there is nothing left to do but surrender. It has been 3 weeks since Jason passed away, with 21 messages, one per day. 2+1=33 = The new energy I’m feeling great peace and love, and now with a sense of calm. It’s the feeling I’ve had when I’ve completely surrendered...

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Message 23 – Listen to Youth, 8/29/09

Listen to the youth, and capture their wisdom.” Yesterday I spread Jason’s remaining ashes in our favorite swimhole in the White Mountains, feeling the awe, joy, and beauty that Jason had felt when we would visit since he was 6. His ashes and rose petals flowed down the waterfalls he played with many times, and sank into the deep cold water that we had always jumped into, with squeals of cold and delight. Little glittery red hearts followed...

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Message 21 – Never Alone, 8/26/09

10:38 PM1= One-ness0 = Infinity3 = The new energy8 = Courage “You are never alone.” I was very tired last night but too restless to sleep. I asked Kule to do some Reiki on my belly. Immediately I got visions of Buddhist teachers with ornate robes, gurus from many traditions, light beings, and a sense of many guides. I’m laughing now at my reaction to being surrounded by these powerful beings who so many seek for guidance. I told them I...

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Message 19 – I Am With You, 8/25/09

“I am always with you.”“Memories capture my energy and they are timeless.” Jason is telling and showing me that he is with me and that he will continue being in my life. I must have been having my doubts that this would last, flowing through the house in meditative searches of all memories of Jason that I can keep to remember him in case the spirit presence fades. Last night I received a present in the mail from a good friend of Kule’s...

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Message 20 – Die Every Moment, 8/25/09

“We die every moment.” We are always changing and we take on and drop identities all the time. If we stay attached to having things stay the same or remaining a certain person, we suffer. In the past year Jason was having a rough time with illness and depression, and he started acting out his teen phase, pushing me away. It was hard for me having always had such a great connection with him, and I learned with some help that this was normal...

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Message 18 – The Big Nothing, 8/24/09

“Don’t be afraid of nothing. There is nothing to be afraid of.”“Don’t be afraid of your own shadow.” When Jason was 10 years old, at the time Chuck and I were separating, he asked me to tell him a story in the middle of a blackout. He loved being told stories, especially “scary” ones at night. I was so amazed at the story that we co-created that I wrote it in my journal I kept about Jason. The story is attached. I had it next to...

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Message 16 – The New Family, 8/23/09

“We attract and create family.” Jason was an only child, but he had an extended family, extended in many directions. He created a community of friends wherever he was, he adopted close friends as brothers and sisters, he was adopted by the community of friends his parents created, he accepted his parents’ new romantic partners as extended family. Jason never had rules about family. He of course loved his genetic family, and loved others in...

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Message 17 – Held, 8/24/09

“We are held” I have been held by the Divine Feminine for many years, and even more closely since Jason died. Last night I was drawn to pulling out a book from my bookcase that I didn’t know I had – a book that my friend Mary Stewart of Feng Shui Boston had put out on the free shelf – entitled “The Mary Magdalene Within” by Joan Norton (2005). I’ve had a wonderful connection with Mary Magdalene for the last several years. I only...

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Message 14 – No Rules, 8/22/09

Jason always asked “why”. Why are things the way they are and why do people believe things have to be a certain way? He was a true individual. We were reading an autobiography he did for an 8th grade project discussing his school trip to upstate New York (I’ll put that in the book – true to his character and, of course, funny.) He loved the chasm they visited, marveling at the stalactites and stalagmites, and took a photo of some very...

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Message 13 – Love, 8/21/09

Jason woke me up at 2:20 AM (2 = Jason and me, 0 = infinity)– I wanted to sleep, but woke again at 2:42, then2:52 – He’s telling me to listen to my guidance (the 5)I went to sleep to catch up on rest, knowing I would get the guidance in the morning, then woke at:5:59 (The guidance will help me to Completion)6:02 and 6:20 6 = Love Yesterday we spread Jason’s ashes with Erin’s in Hull off the pier they used to jump off of, symbolizing...

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Message 14 – The Treasure Chest, 8/22/09

6:11 AM6 = Love11 = PortalThe portal of love “When we send love to others it is magnified and reflected back to us.” After finding Jason’s poetry yesterday in a pile of his 2-yr old stuff, I was very emotional and was asking myself why didn’t I see this before? Why did he keep this secret? Could I have done more to bring him out (he hated it when we showed him off to others)? Every time I had asked myself these questions in the past 2...

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Message 12 – Reminder, 8/20/09

2:00 AM2 = Jason and me0 = The InfiniteJason woke me up to remind me that we are both infinite beings. Yesterday Kule and I took a walk and swim on the beach late in the day as the sun was low and everything looked so incredibly beautiful and mystical, the way Jason’s photographs would capture almost anything. He has given me this gift. We stood at the end of the sandbar where the crosscurrents meet and it felt very powerful. Jason loved...

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Message 11-11 – Love Is All There Is, 8/19/09

4:22 AM4 (The Trinity plus teachers) + 22 22 = 11+11 Two gateways I woke at 4:22 but wanted to sleep more, then get up when I saw the clock at 4:292 = Mom and Jason9 = Completion I’ve come full cycle with Jason. Last night I watched the video of his birth and released him back to whence he came, pure Spirit. It was very powerful for me, assisting with completion of the physical attachment. Last night as we were going to bed I wanted to talk...

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Message 10 – Pay It Forward, 8/17/09

3:09 AM9 = the Teacher – Let’s teach by example9 = 3X3If we spread the message to at least 3 people and they in turn spread it to at least 3 people, it will spread very quickly and vastly as in the movie Pay It Forward (one of Jason’s favorite movies). Reflect on how special you are and how you follow your passion; meditate and ask for help to make sure you follow your passion.Remind at least 3 people how special they are, and help them to...

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Message 11 – Guided Music, 8/18/09

1:45 AMI thought Message 10 was the last one – this one isn’t for the public yet, just for those who would understand. 11 = The gateway, twin pillars 1:45 AM:1 = One4 = The new energy (Jason, Erin, and you) and Teachers5 = Plus Guides There are many other guides, not just Jason, on the other side working to get the new energy out. 5 hit me earlier yesterday when I woke up abruptly from a nap at 5:00. There was no noise, just a burst of...

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Message 9 – Follow Your Passion, 8/15/09

Sat 8/15, message ended at 3:13 AM3:13 = 3 + One + 33 = Jason + Erin + you (They are reincarnating inside each of us) This is the last message. 9 is Completion and the Teacher. This message is about Harnessing the New Energy. Jason wants us to answer these questions. Please pass this on. Please send me your thoughts/experience, and copy ben@liquidvoice.com for public sharing. 1. How did Jason touch you?2. How did Jason make you feel special?3....

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Message 7 – Living Life Fully, 8/13/09

Thurs 8/23 1:23 AM (1 day late – Mom needed rest) 1:23 = 123 It’s Easy – Celebrating Childhood and Living Life Fully “Thanks, Mom, you are listening. I used to tell you all the time this past year that you didn’t listen to me (when you thought you were and you had no idea what I was talking about). I was talking about a much deeper listening, not the words, and nothing the mind does.” I’m listening so...

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Message 8 – The Infinite – We Are All Special, 8/14/09

Please share this with everyone, and send to Facebook, etc. 2:10 AM last night210 = Countdown to the Infinite0 = Hollow and Empty (the practice he did in the Art of Living Course (AOL) in July) He’s there. He’s here.So many messages and signs (more signs to share later) – now there’s no doubt he’s here. Jason – what do we need to know about the infinite? “Nothing – Just Be It. If you try to know...

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Message 6 – Released, 8/12/09

At 11:11 (All One, as Kule noted – I think I’ve seen 11:11 almost every night since Jason died) I reflected on a very powerful day. Erin’s memorial service was a key time for me to grieve with another grieving mom, KT. We got there a little late and people led Chuck and me to her, as she interrupted the service to introduce us and have us sit with her. With a photo of Erin and Jason in front of us on the table (a photo we got...

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Message 5 – Thank You, 8/11/09

3:53 AMJason loves me and his Dad so much, and loved our celebration last night. He loves Kule and wants him to know he’s glad he’s taking care of me. Jason saw how the ceremony brought joy and hope to his friends, not just close friends but people who didn’t know him well as well as my friends. He loved seeing everyone drumming and dancing for him, the way Jon held the space and put passion into the circle, and the way...

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Message 4 – Lighten Up, 8/10/09

This one will be shared at the ceremony tonight. I’m so so honored to be Jason’s mom. 3:01 AMJason told me that I feel him strongly because he is embedded in my heart. If I hug someone they feel Jason’s love. If we both feel that love together we believe in this even more. I am not the only one – many have Jason embedded in their hearts, and anyone can, if they believe. He wants his friends to hug each other like he...

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Message 3 – The New Energy, 8/9/09

I woke up at 3 AM again; it’s lung time according to acupuncture – grief time. It’s also when I connect clearest with Jason. It was not as strong this time because he is focusing on his friends, helping them get through this hard time. I am telling them Jason is there for them, and I hope they really believe that. I asked Jason about the “new energy”. Erin’s friends would call it “One Love”....

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Message 2 from Jason, 8/8/09

I had another profound connection with Jason last night at 3 AM (same time as the night before, Jason always liked staying up late).Again, please keep this message sacred and forward to those who know Jason and would understand. Jason didn’t want to lose his youth, but he wasn’t afraid of getting older (as I had thought). His youth had a power for healing he had to share without a body. He made a soul contract to do this (of course...

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Message 1 from Jason, 8/7/09

Thank you for your prayers and healing energy – I feel you there with me. I’ll forward this to others at some point, but I don’t know who knows about Jason’s passing yet, although I’m sure word spreads fast. I had a profound connection with Jason last night, and I feel you will understand. It’s important that I pass this on to you ASAP. Please treat this as a sacred message. I wasn’t able to sleep until...

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