Earth Mother, 10/5/10

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On this beautiful lush land in Lost Valley, Oregon I was thinking of Jason and being with grief I hadn’t felt in a while. Being here gave me the opportunity to slow down from travel and social activities.

As soon as I started connecting fully with Jason’s spirit on this land, I felt another presence, an omnipresence that was rich and beautiful. I continued walking on the Cedar trail of this permaculture education center outside Eugene Oregon. We came across two tombstones in the woods from the 80’s, when the land belonged to a Christian camp.

Looking at the dates, the first tombstone was of a girl who died at 22 yrs. The second tombstone was for a baby who died at 7 months. Instantly the tears came. I wept for the loss of these children. I felt the grief of the parents who lost these precious young ones. I know what this kind of grief is. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that I came across these tombs on my first walk here. I also knew right away why these children were buried in this remote wooded area, nestled among trees, in front of a prominent tall tree stump that symbolized death and rebirth, nurtured by mother earth.

A sign was on the ground next to the tombs, barely visible in the grass. It read: “From Death comes Life.”

I paused to be with the grief and to feel the omnipresent energy I felt earlier, now even more strongly. This is the divine feminine energy, mother earth. She is loving these children. She is loving all of us. The message was so clear – the land and all life on it here loves everyone who stays here to nurture her back, tilling her soil, caring for her animals, appreciating the beauty, teaching others how to connect with nature in this way.

I got my first class in permaculture at Lost Valley, from the Earth herself.

Moving up the trail to a sunny area, I meditated for a while. When I opened my eyes I noticed a small fungus growing out of decaying matter. It showed me the cycle of life, death and new life. As I studied this small plant, I received a definition of permaculture, of what I call “Personal Permaculture”:

“If we see everything as spirit (energy) transforming from one form to another, then there is no loss and we see abundance and the worth of every living thing.”

These have been Jason’s messages all along, and his passing has given me a clearer view of these energetic connections, and an understanding of how there is no loss when we die, but a change in form. Jason has proven this to me; I have no doubt.

If we can connect energetically with all life, the earth, plants, animals, and other humans in this way, then our fears about loss dissolve and we can live life more fully and create more aliveness within ourselves as well as all we perceive outside ourselves.

This is personal permaculture. I don’t see how we can truly live in harmony with all that is without a belief in this energetic connection, without some spiritual connection. Permaculture education seems to be weighed toward the science and experimental observations, with reference to listening to what nature has to tell and show us. Perhaps there will be greater and greater focus on the spiritual aspect, back to the indigenous wisdom.

I’m curious about pursuing the spiritual path of permaculture, and will be returning to Lost Valley to spend some time here with the land and the knowledgeable and creative people who contribute to this special place.

On our third and last day of our first visit here, I walked along the creek trail and found a soft log to sit on. As I picked up my phone to make a call, it immediately didn’t feel right to be using electronic technology, but rather to be with nature here. I looked up and saw a doe and her baby deer feeding across the creek. I hung with them until they moseyed off to find more food. Back at the parking lot as I was packing the car, I met another mother with her baby who stayed in visual relaxed contact with me for several minutes, it seemed.

The mother energy is strong here, and it has reminded me of how strong my own mother energy is, and my connection with my soul child.

It’s sweet hanging out in Bambi country with Jason.