Manifesting with Jason
The concept of manifesting, i.e. creating what we want in our lives, has been a key research subject of mine for many years. I led groups on goal setting and manifesting, using the term “Flow work”. I have been trusting that I would get my needs met, and I have manifested this and more. Upon reflection, it seems that my trust in the universe became more solid after my son Jason was born; I now do not believe that is a coincidence.
Jason was a powerful manifester in his lifetime, and we created a great life together. When I wanted to live in intentional community with other families (to help each other raise our children) and my husband was not interested, Jason created his own intentional community in a suburban cul-de-sac with four other children who all happened to be born within a couple of years of each other. We manifested a new home in Ipswich so he could be in an art-oriented school where his artistry thrived, with a record sell-and-buy cycle of a couple of months, moving in 1week before school started.
In supporting my vision to create the best life for Jason as a newly-divorced single mom, I manifested my own consulting business which not only allowed me to be home for my son, but also allowed me to be more of who I am. Outside the corporate acculturation and self-suppression of my spiritual power, I blossomed as a healer and musician.
I created the life I wanted when Jason was with me. Since he left this earth, he continues to inspire me to create the life I want, in an even bigger way, really going for what’s important in my life.
My partner Kule and I are creating the homes we want, the “home bases” in Ashland, Oregon, and Costa Rica. One important way we know we have found our “homes” because we are contributing our gifts to our communities with their recognition, positive feedback, and loving appreciation. I am doing my spiritual counseling and channeling in both of my homes, and I’ve found music partners in both of my homes. Kule has been inspired in his solar engineering in both homes, and is inspired to do his personal growth and retreat guide work. This happened so magically and effortlessly, so I know we are in the right places.
Throughout my grieving process, Jason reminded me of my power to create the life I want, and to acknowledge the knowledge I have gained about manifesting. The following blog entries address various aspects of manifesting. It is my hope that these messages assist in melting away your limits and empowering you as a manifester.
Imagination – 9/09
How often have we been told that imagination is the opposite of reality?
Let’s try this one on:
Imagination creates reality.
Gazing into the clouds today, I searched for angels and images of Jason’s energy and found them. What an imagination! And it felt good, too.
Our beliefs create our reality; I’ve been studying this for some time, and last year with advanced courses with Avatar. We choose our beliefs, and therefore we choose the reality we want to create from an infinite set of possibilities.
This is what I got today:
When we imagine, we choose what filters we want to use to tune in to the energy (consciousness) that manifests the reality we want.
We can imagine things that feel good, or we can imagine things that don’t feel good (we do that all the time, don’t we?).
I could imagine how devastating and unfair it is to lose a child, but I choose not to do this.
I choose to imagine the beauty that Jason has added to my world. That beauty is in my reality.
I choose to imagine how I experience Jason’s presence, so I don’t feel a loss at some level.
I choose to imagine that sadness can be beautiful and not suffering.
Our feelings act as magnets to seek and magnify the energy we want to manifest – that’s the Law of Attraction, to use the Abraham-Hicks phrase.
I also like the idea of “fake it until you make it.”
I can imagine what I want to have happen and it will manifest. In order to do this I have to believe it can really happen.
It’s also so important to feel what we feel, and without judgment.
It’s a human experience, a feeling. I try not to get caught up in stories about what the feeling means. It’s a continuous course!
Sadness is sadness. It’s only bad if we believe it is.
I’m fully feeling the sadness. The more I do the more I realize it’s not bad at all.
As human beings we believe that certain experiences are horrible, such as death. Maybe energetic beings from another plane would see becoming a human as something horrible. It’s all what we decide it is, that’s all.
I’m guessing some people won’t understand that I am not devastated by Jason’s death. They might think I’m delusional or protecting myself from a traumatic experience. I imagine that others will be interested in seeing things a different way, to create a preferred reality for themselves.
I was in a rough place today feeling guilty that I might not have done enough for Jason in life. They say it is “normal” to feel guilt, and parents feel enough of this when their kids are alive! I had an Avatar friend lead me through an exercise to shift out of that unnecessary suffering so I can experience the pure sadness that’s not attached to some story, just to my love for Jason. That was freeing. I will continue to choose to not get into places of unnecessary suffering; Jason doesn’t want me to experience that. He wants me to feel free and as limitless as I possibly can. If I ever slip, I will remember to come out of it out of gratitude for Jason.
I am reminded of the power of gratitude. Often when I cry about Jason I feel the immense gratitude of having had him in my life, of continuing to feel his blessings. This feeling brings me joy and peace and carries me to a place of feeling abundance.
I was reminded of how grateful I am for being in this place, and not in a place of devastation and despair as so many parents have experienced in the loss of a child, for years afterward. I attended a support group for bereaved parents two nights ago with Kule and witnessed a huge range of experiences, stories, emotions, and suggestions from parents who lost a child in the past few weeks to many years ago. It is clear that everyone grieves and copes so differently, and I appreciate experiencing the diversity and learning from it. I got clear in hearing some of the stories that I want to remember Jason as always 17, not someone who would-have could-have been someone at such-and-such age, creating attachment and suffering. I am grateful for that insight, and I am so grateful for the loving support of the group as they wished Jason Happy Birthday, passing around his sweet pictures for all to smile and celebrate who he was and is. I will attend the group again; it’s a great resource called The Compassionate Friends. Grieving the loss of a child is so different than any other loss, and I want to be with those who understand. I am so grateful for Kule’s desire to understand this with me, so he can support me.
I am so grateful for my spiritual connection with Jason and how I am growing spiritually through this experience. I am very interested in the metaphysical exploration of spirit, and how we can connect with the spirit of each one more strongly in life as well as after death. I am grateful for a new connection with another bereaved parent, Henry, who lost his only child to brain cancer a year ago, who moved to this area and is starting a support group for parents that is spiritually based. He had started a website with his son Cameron called www.braincandyproject.org for parents of kids with cancer, and the gratitude he has for having had his angelic son in his life is apparent in the video sharings and interviews with his son during his cancer.
Years ago when I was teaching goal setting using sound healing a simple equation came to me:
TRUTH +TRUST + GRATITUDE = ABUNDANCE
This feels even more real to me now, after having immersed myself in manifesting studies such as Avatar, understanding how we create our reality. Our truth reflects our beliefs; what we believe is what we experience, and we can choose our beliefs. Trust in Spirit, a higher power, and our will is of course key. Gratitude is the piece that has always fascinated me, and is often overlooked. When we are grateful, we feel the joy of gifts in our life, and that attracts more gifts (the law of attraction). Abundance is a perspective – the glass is half full or half empty or full or overflowing. I am the only one who determines that perspective; I’m responsible for my reality. I create my abundance.
Feeling abundance after the loss of child seems inconceivable. How can loss and abundance co-exist? I feel the dichotomy of pain and beauty in my grief, so anything is possible.
Jason’s soul chose me and Chuck as parents for particular reasons, many of which may never be fully revealed on this plane. His path was set in life; he manifested his life. What helps me tremendously is my belief that Jason’s death is not a loss at a spiritual level. I have received so many blessings throughout his life and since he passed. I know I was not meant to suffer, and that belief and trust keep me in a state of Grace and Gratitude.
Thank you Jason, for teaching me to laugh.
Thank you for teaching me to be in the moment, to forget about time.
Thank you for teaching me patience.
Thank you for helping me lighten up.
Thank you for being an angel to so many.
Thank you for leaving us with so many creative beautiful works of art and music to experience you with our human senses.
Thank you for attracting so many beautiful spirits into our lives.
Thank you for being firmly who you are, inspiring that in others.
Thank you for so many gifts that I may not be aware of, that feed me in magical ways.
Thank you for teaching me ways to connect with you in your new state, and reminding me we are one.