Message 12 – Reminder, 8/20/09


2:00 AM
2 = Jason and me
0 = The Infinite
Jason woke me up to remind me that we are both infinite beings.

Yesterday Kule and I took a walk and swim on the beach late in the day as the sun was low and everything looked so incredibly beautiful and mystical, the way Jason’s photographs would capture almost anything. He has given me this gift. We stood at the end of the sandbar where the crosscurrents meet and it felt very powerful. Jason loved that.

Annika told me she burned the Grief and Courage candles from Jason’s ceremony into the sand yesterday as she was guided to do. I felt so much grief melt away yesterday, flowing with my menses, and I’m ready to spread Jason’s ashes today.

I took Noah to the airport today; Dustin had gone back to China on Tuesday. They are Jason’s brothers, they are family. Seeing them off, I feel like I am saying good-bye to Jason in so many ways. I’m also saying hello to him in new special ways, getting to know so much more of him, the beauty of it has been overwhelming.

Noah left his wallet and sweatshirt at my house – made me laugh, thinking of all the times (I wasn’t always laughing then) that the two of them were always so spaced out. Material things aren’t important to them. I learned so much about timelessness and being in the moment from Jason. Noah has two of Jason’s cameras now, and he is starting at a special art high school in Washington the end of the month.