Message 22- Surrender, 8/27/09


“Surrender to the healing”

5:05 AM
5 = Magic, tuning into our spirit
0 = Infinite being

I awoke and heard “There’s Nothing Left.”
Writing it now it means to me that there is nothing left to do but surrender.

It has been 3 weeks since Jason passed away, with 21 messages, one per day.
3 = The new energy

I’m feeling great peace and love, and now with a sense of calm. It’s the feeling I’ve had when I’ve completely surrendered and I just know everything is perfect. It doesn’t come from my mind, but from my being.

I’ve surrendered to the healing that is available from Jason and from my relationship with him and what he has taught me.
Jason is asking all of us to surrender and let the healing in.

The tragic death of anyone, especially a young, vibrant and angelic being such as Jason, triggers amazing stuff in everyone. This is a gift, to know our deepest fears and limitations, because with that awareness we can get to the next level of healing. It’s been years since I’ve been afraid of dying or death in general, but I always thought that losing Jason (or seeing him suffer) would be the hardest thing I could ever experience. Until about 6 months ago, it would have devastated me to lose my baby. I went through a difficult process last year, surrendering to his request to let him live life the way he wanted to, seeking his independence, and not wanting me to “control” in any way. I was finally able to do that and get to the point of accepting that he may make the wrong decisions, and he may suffer, and that I need to be prepared for that and know that I am not responsible for that. In fact, Jason insisted that I not be responsible. The only thing he wanted was help with logistical things he was unable to do well (earthly things) – making food, driving him, reminding him to take vitamins, doing laundry, etc. He also told me that, although he needed space, never to forget he loves me.

I surrendered to Jason in life and I am surrendering to him in death.

Having just written this I feel incredibly free and incredibly sad at the same time. There is mystery in that dichotomy. The only thing that makes sense to me is the love that I feel; that is real.

Jason chose his path, and the best way to be a parent is to accept his decision. I trust his wise soul.
What has also helped me to accept this, tremendously, is to know that his death has created so much healing in family, friends, and people he didn’t know, who were inspired by his art and his story. It touches me deeply to receive messages from people who have been healed by him in life and in death.

Try getting lost in Jason’s art or music, to get how much he was in the moment, capturing the essence and beauty of all things. He knew how to surrender, and he wants us to know how easy it can be to let go of the mind and surrender to the moment. The healing is right there for you, you can just let it in.