Message 31 – Don’t Worry Be Happy
Don’t Worry Be Happy
Even though Jason might not have used that exact phrase, that was his mantra. He is telling me this quite loudly this morning.
It’s also an old favorite song from an amazing musician Bobby McFerrin. I couldn’t remember his name, and I got it when I turned on Music Choice on my TV this morning – the first song was one by Bobby McFerrin. Another gift from spirit, aka Jason!
Jason would tell me often not to worry. He would be intense about letting me know, too. When he was a small child, his father Chuck and I would call him our barometer. He would react to stress in the house by fussing and annoying us physically or with sounds. He could be intensely funny, to lighten up situations. As a teenager he would tell us directly and commandingly to stop worrying, sometimes to the point of seeming rude. But he was always right. I often let him know that.
He’s nagging me now. He’s making ridiculous sounds and faces to get my attention, to make me laugh and be in the moment. It’s actually working, Jason. I can’t see you, but I can feel you doing this, like old times. You’re getting me to laugh and cry at the same time. You are giving me a tremendous gift, reminding me to enjoy life no matter what. I know you want me to be happy, no doubt about that. I know I can be happy even though I lost a child, no doubt about that. I trust you are where your soul wants to be, and I am working on trusting that my soul is where I want to be.
So what am I worried about? Us humans can worry about anything. But we forget we have the ability to choose what we worry about. I’m not choosing to worry about not having friends or money or other essential things in life, I know I will always have what I need on the physical plane. What Jason is reminding me is that I can have whatever I want in life at the level of spirit.
I discovered a worry last night. I discovered I am worried that I will let Jason down; he is giving me so many gifts in his passing. Will I fully “follow my passion” as he has done? I am choosing to worry about this at some level. Just writing about it brings more awareness.
Jason wants me to be happy, to be in the moment. Worrying takes me out of the moment.
His mantra is actually:
Don’t Worry – Be
So then my mind says “What do I want to be?” “Who do I want to be?” “How do I want to be?” “Where do I want to be?” …….then I see how silly my mind can get.
But I’ve not only lost my precious son, I’ve lost an identity of being a mother, living in Ipswich, making a certain living to maintain our lifestyle and help Jason through college, etc etc. It’s brought up a lot of emotion, confusion. I’m in a huge integration process. Jason is helping me big time by telling me not to worry, to just Be and that will be Me, and that will make me happy.
He’s so right.
Last night he gave me the idea to write down all the things I would do if I didn’t have to make money. I felt some excitement; he’s on to something here. I thought of so many things I do now, even in my corporate work, that I would do because I enjoy doing them. I had just returned from teaching a course in Northeastern to pharmacy graduate students. I had a great time with them, I enjoy teaching and helping others meet their goals. I thought of so many other things, such as music and writing and dancing and travel. I got cozy in bed with a pad of paper, ready to write so much, feeling it would give me such comfort and passion.
I wrote: Be.
Then I felt complete and slept through the night.
Jason, just keep reminding me the way you always have. You’re awesome.
P.S. A week ago we had a powerful house blessing, a generous gift from Mary Stewart of FengShui Boston. On the altar Kule and I included items representing what we want to manifest going forward in our new life, next to pictures of us and Jason. I put my CD recordings next to Jason’s CD to inspire getting my album together and recording more music, titles of books I plan to write, and intentions for teaching about manifesting, grieving, and living life fully. It’s not a coincidence that I went through the California wave and these strong reminders from Jason. It’s all helped me to continue to integrate. Last night I used the Intuition aromatherapy (“aura infusion”), a gift from Bobbie Courtney, before going to sleep. It’s not a coincidence that Jason came in strongly this morning; I’m so guided and supported.
And I’m almost ready to dance, my ankle is strong again!
See www.jasonmichellefoster.blogspot.com for all of Jason’s messages and writings of my grieving journey.