Past Lives, 10/28/09

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This isn’t the first time Jason died before me in life.

Maybe that’s why I wasn’t surprised to get the news at the hospital, when I arrived after driving for almost one hour with no information other than Jason was in a bad accident. The hospital wouldn’t give us information; we found out later that’s because it was police jurisdiction – Jason had died at the scene and his body wasn’t at the hospital. I spent the entire drive in getting ready for the worst news; I asked Jason’s godmother MA to drive because I wanted her to be there for Jason, she happened to be in Hamilton at the time, I trusted her ability to be in grace during receipt of any terrible news, and I needed her calm energy and Reiki. I was on the phone with Kule and Marie-Anne (Linda from Texas), helping me get ready, assisted by a multitude of angels. I didn’t walk, I glided as if in a dream into the emergency room where a nurse escorted me to a private waiting room where Chuck and the other parents were waiting, holding hands.

I saw Chuck and what came out calmly was “Did we lose him?”. Chuck’s face, tears, and weary embrace said it all. The next thing I asked was “Did he suffer?” Relieved shaking heads and a brief conversation with the police waiting outside confirmed that my worst fear didn’t come true. He died instantly with no pain.

The next thing I remember was meeting the other parents, especially Erin’s mother, KT. The first thing she said, with such love in her eyes, was how wonderful my son was and how sorry she was. Then I found out she lost her daughter, and we bonded for life. I’ve gotten to know Erin through KT and her daughter Shannon and understand what an amazing relationship she and Jason had, and how they were destined to part together. Jason and Erin had past lives together where they didn’t get a chance to fully enjoy being together because they were helping too many others; in this life they got to do both. We’ve been told they are soul twins and they may reincarnate as twins. Whatever happens, their influence feels merged.

I got in touch with two past lives with Jason in a past-life regression with Ashara 6 weeks after Jason passed. I wanted to know why Jason and I came together in this lifetime.

In the first life, I was standing on a mountain top, in the snow above the clouds, with my dearest friend and climbing companion. His face was radiant, his soul was so wise, and he was Jason, with bright blue eyes and a bald head. He was in his 50s and wanted to climb one more time with me after a diagnosis of cancer. When it was time to head down he told me that he wasn’t going back with me. He asked me to be with him in love, that he will always be there with me after his body fails, that love transcends his body, and without much warning he stepped off a cliff and disappeared into the clouds. He didn’t want me to suffer watching him die of his terminal disease. I cried in anguish and then accepted his decision in the next moment, with overwhelming love. He had sent me powerful healing right before he left, to make sure I would not feel any guilt about his passage. I felt his presence strongly after he left. I learned that love doesn’t need a body, and to trust the passage. When the soul is ready to go there is nothing anyone can do about it except receive the gifts. I learned I can connect with the other side through my love of Jason.

In a previous life, Jason was a Peruvian medicine woman in a small village; her name was Chanta (pronounced Shanta) and my name was Jesu (pronounced hay-su). I was a troubled orphaned teenage boy who was not respected in the village. I lied and stole and had no friends. Every time I walked by Chanta in the village square where she sat, she smiled at me. She never judged me and she never spoke to me, she just smiled and sent me her love. Jesu always felt special around Chanta, but it confused him. He yelled at her one day – “Why don’t you tell me I’m a loser or tell me to get my life together, or make me get healed? Why don’t you say anything to me?!”. Chanta just smiled radiantly.

In time Jesu gained confidence in himself from feeling Chanta’s love, that helped him to transform. Years later, after Jesu had started a family in another village, he was called to come back to Chanta’s village. She was dying, and she had asked for Jesu. She asked him to hold her while she passed. Jesu was overcome with emotion and was very confused – why would she choose him of all people? She replied “I want you to give me all the love you had received from me in your lifetime.” In that moment Jesu was healed with all of the love he had received and all that he poured into Chanta during her passage. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful. I learned that love is given and received and never goes away; we have to remember it is there. Words don’t do it, it is just pure love. Certain bonds in life are blessed with open channels for that love, that is eternal.

Jason was always short on words and big on love. I always knew this, and he reminded me once again.

Love eternal,
Michelle