Sustainability. We have been experiencing wonderful models and teachers of this in Castillo, Costa Rica. The wise mountain hermit Tomas and the young earth-yogi Frederico live this day to day and inspire others to see that it can be done and it is being done. And we are doing it.

To be one with the earth, one spirit. To take care of our environment. To sustain ourselves with the food of the gods farmed by us gods. To live together in loving community. To be responsible for what reality we create.

My grieving journey is about moving into sustainability. I am finding the lifestyle I want, that Jason would have loved. Here in this small farming town landlocked by the Monteverde rain forest and the Ninos wildlife preserve, the Arenal Volcano park, and Lake Arenal, the magic is endless. The few gringos here are pioneers, and I resonate with that identity.

I am a pioneer. I never imagined the journey I am on now, and I am riding it like a Tico cowgirl, resting on this peaceful porch after a long day on the farm, watching the comical birds twirling upside down on the branches of the sky-bound trees.

I am a writer. That’s another identity. I am a mother. I am part of this ecosystem. I am creating.

I am.

We could retire here. All I need to do is remove any limiting beliefs and trust in the flow that is pulling us magically to this place.

We had a great conversation about this with our villa-neighbor Charlie during his spontaneous visit. It was perfect timing, right after our meditation and tuning into Jason’s powerful energy in the bird-nesting trees. We had planned on taking a walk to Charlie’s, and he appeared at that moment when I had tears in my eyes from connecting with Jason’s message to follow my passion and move here. Charlie shared his passion to have a personal growth center at his farm, and we looked at his land again and felt much closer to seeing this as a home. We have a similar vision, and we could grow the community we want together.

And – oh yes, the magic mushrooms. They sprang up overnight in soil moistened from the rain. The villa’s Tico caretakers Odalie and Doro never saw them there before. Where did they come from? They seemed to appear on the very path we took when we walked across the lawn on our arrival yesterday. We must have tracked spores from our shoes from our walk at Rancho Margot!

Right before we discovered the mushrooms, I had been reflecting on our trip to Rancho Margot and how much we want to live in sustainable community; perhaps we could buy a home there. We are not yet drawn to living at the ranch, but certainly being involved with the community if we live in Castillo. They are doing the world a great service educating us on how to live sustainably.

I got down to the level of the magic mushrooms and asked them what they need to tell me. I heard “you can create what you want anywhere you choose.”

We will sit with our dreams and visions in ice-bound Ipswich and watch the mind. What would we be getting ourselves into? Are we crazy to leave our dear friends and family? And what about the rainy season? Will we regret our decision?

I trust we will process these thoughts. We will compost them like the farmers manage their compost. Transform them into fertilizer and energy for our visions.

I hear Jason telling me I worry too much. I feel him smile when I tell him how much I like Costa Rica and how I could see myself living there and retiring early.

That’s so cool, Mom.