Watching the World


I’m watching the world go by and yet it is so still.

What is still? Who is still? Who watches?

The pelican necklace soars overhead. A Tico boy on bicycle screams through the beach at low tide. The waves lick the shore and get closer, then farther, then closer, as the sun moves in its journey through the sky until it plunges into the ocean. The fisherman’s boat trolls by, in the pace of this sleepy country. The island beach comes and goes, as do the cliff shadows. Am I asleep or awake? Dreaming or imagining? What is real?

Perhaps the sun has toasted my brain a bit too brown.

I might as well be in my home in Ipswich, looking out on the snow-laiden earth watched over by our guardian evergreens and circling turkey buzzards. We search the world. What are we searching for? What will we be watching when we get there? Where are we going, and are we really going anywhere?

Watching the world go by, inside and out.

This is the first vacation since adulthood that I am not thinking about time, about needing to get anywhere. I watch what comes up – the hunger, the fatigue, the need for coolness and water, the grief, the relaxing breeze, the occasional conversation with others that are sharing our temporary home.

I am outside any routine. I don’t even schedule my morning breathing meditation (kriya). I meditate with eyes open. Our beachhouse host and artist at Cabinas Kunterbunt (Tommy, from Germany) looks, acts, and feels like a meditator but doesn’t call himself one – he never learned, it just happens here in this little place of paradise. We make dear friends with our breakfast host, Dolores, and spend timeless time speaking of consciousness. She is grateful to be attracting us into her world here, as we are also grateful for what we attract.

Yesterday I was concerned my mind would get too active – should we stay here longer? Should we go to other destinations in Costa Rica? What will we miss if we go? What will we miss if we stay? Do we ever miss anything when our world is already here?

With my mind in neutral gear, we flow into a decision about our week. We didn’t decide, we watched the decision come.

I’m getting the knack of this watching thing. I’m also getting a bit closer to understanding how Jason’s mind worked. It didn’t need to work. It flowed. It resisted when the flow was challenged, that’s for sure! I’m appreciating that even more now, knowing what he passed on to me in his passing.

Jason passed on to me a way of being in the world that feels new to me, that makes me feel that I have been the child all along.

He knew how to watch the world. He stopped at every tiny flower to marvel at its uniqueness and beauty. He didn’t understand time. I’m getting that time doesn’t exist, so why waste energy worrying about it?

Being in our flow creates more energy. We aren’t wasting energy resisting.

I’ve taught about going with your flow, “moving into your groove”, and manifesting for years. I continue to learn by unlearning, by watching the old stuff that gets in the way, the old patterns, the indoctrinations from childhood and society.

I’ve met some fascinating Americans and Europeans here in Costa Rica. They are great manifesters. They don’t doubt, they just follow their vision. Many are here because they believe the U.S. and other western countries have become too materialistic and complex, too far from simple roots to the earth and spirit. Is this paranoia or wisdom? Is it thinking negatively or is it following their own path? I believe it is wise to follow your intuition about what is right for you, for anyone.

I was inspired meeting the developers of Finca Las Brisas, seeing how they are building off the grid, back to the earth, with no need for heat or A/C, and plenty of water to go around year round. I’m not being led to buying land there, but it is a great model. I will spread the word and support their vision to attract the right people and to let others know about this model.

Meanwhile I will continue to watch, to be the observer of my experiences, thoughts and feelings. To watch them in appreciation of the rich diversity, of all the gifts. To follow my intuition and passion.

I will always be here sitting in the Costa Rican treehouse overlooking the shiny sea. I’m sitting here watching Jason taking photos, observing his excitement of all that is unique.

Watching my world, inside and out.