Winds and Lava 2/7/10


This is a magical place in which to be with the 6 month anniversary of Jason’s passing.

The winds are healing and blow away doubts and fears. The volcano erupts and releases glowing boulders of ancient patterns. The lake soothes and cools. This is a world of possibilities, like any other world except with lush vegetation, mystical jungle, and artistic birds. Things grow fast here; the locals use machetes to keep it down. Or you can sit and watch it grow.

People create here, amazing things. We can do this anywhere; this place is a great metaphor.

After I wrote the above, I had two conversations that were no coincidences. This funky hostel (Gringo Pete’s) in Fortuna Costa Rica is a crossroads for people around the world who were meant to meet.

I supported Anna’s process to overcome the belief that healthy intimate relationships are not possible; she knows she needs to get past this to create the work she wants here in Costa Rica – to lead wilderness groups in spiritual earth connection.

Supporting Joseph in his current grieving journey inspired me see that our connection with spirit has different aspects. When we lose someone (he is going through a painful break-up) we lose the connection with the person at the personality level. However, the spiritual connection is always there. This is part of us. We carry this with us in our journey, and use it to create and attract what we want – the right relationship, for example.

I showed Joseph Jason’s photography; he was very impressed and passed on yet another message from the universe to sell Jason’s art; he will show his German friends. I experience what it feels like to share him with others; he is still alive through his art. I don’t cry; I smile and I am the proud mother.

Our souls find each other to learn what we are meant to learn in each moment.

Elizabeth is an independent elderly woman who flows with travel and asks what she needs to in order to catch the right bus. She moved here a few years ago, near San Jose. I watch myself being in awe of the ease some people have with travel. There are even more levels of freedom I can achieve.

We are in the wild frontier and yet there is so much development already. Many travelling here encourage us to visit Nicaragua and to invest in land there, as it is headed in the same direction as Costa Rica. Gringo Pete says they are more gringo-friendly, and I hear they are lovely people.

We met Juan Tortuga, a sweet local spiritual American working on some farms who introduced us to his friend and boss Charlie, a businessman-turned-cowboy who is into personal empowerment and connecting with the elements. Charlie showed us his land and some lots he is selling that border the Monteverde jungle, the land that was gifted by children who raised money to preserve the wildlife, a story that brings tears to our eyes. The land is magnificent, with a view of the lake, the volcano, and the jungle. Why was I not drawn to buying this land? Am I afraid or am I still in some transition shock? Am I following my intuition? It doesn’t feel like home right now, but it is truly magical. We will stay in touch with Charlie and Juan and the couple (Nan and Z) that own the Firefly café; we started to get to know the cool community here.

The energy here is powerful; the lava-spewing volcano reminds us of our power and our transience, and how everything changes and how beautiful that all is. The ashes remind me of Jason’s ashes at this 6-month anniversary. He would have loved photographing this extra-terrestrial place of extremes.

It’s nice to just be, and not be looking for what to do next. Another metaphor for life, for my grieving journey, to learn more deeply what Jason taught me in this lifetime. Why spend a day driving on bad roads to Monteverde? We are on the border of the jungle here, the weather is great, the food is great, the being is great.

Vamos a relajar – I think that’s how you spell Let’s relax. We will stay in Castillo another couple of days, walk to the waterfall, zip-line through the jungle, get massage from the sweet Tico woman at the Sepenthe, sit in the pool and bask in the volcano energy.

And I’ll enjoy this wild frontier of El Castillo, and the 15 km long dirt road with potholes that give you motion sickness if you go too slow.

The trick is to fly fast through the potholes, just sail over them in the 4WD, and not to worry or even notice that they are there. To sit back in the harness and fly through the jungle with no worries and all awe.

Yee-hah! It’s that Tico cowgirl in me.